She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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