Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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