It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
