This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
