dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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