everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
