My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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