I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
