did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
