remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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