It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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