Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
