Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
