The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
