Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
