i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
