there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
