Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
