theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He did a backflip because drugs
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
