hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
