yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
