normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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