Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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