Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
