you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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