you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He has the fingertips of a God
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
