let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
