He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
