So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize