are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
