Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
