Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize