I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
