You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
