this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
