Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize