there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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