Where did you get a picture of my penis
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
