im drinking this country out of the recession.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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