I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
