So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
