I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
