I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
