so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
