I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
