Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
