Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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