Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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