So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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