i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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