maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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