The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
