Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
