Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
