At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
