One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
