he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
