so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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